Thursday, March 31, 2011

Since My Last Post

Since my last post, I had forgotten why I loved posting my story here on my blog. I forgot that, there were other women out in this world who could relate to me, who could relate to preemie life and being in life feeling like life is a struggle. I let the negative people who sent me mean and negative tweets about my blog, stop me from sharing my story. Never again will I do that. I will be making post for me and my readers.

Sitting here in front of my laptop writing this post I am feeling almost defeated. I have been working so hard to find a job, that I have become a pest to some and a face to remember to others. Since my last post I have had two interviews. One with a hospital recruiter and on that same day with the physician that I would be working for. This was three weeks ago. My bills are still racking up and my children are starting to feel the wrath of my worry. I am not myself. I'm not happy and playful with my children. Andre, my oldest son picks up on this fact a lot. I feel alone because when I go out in public I put my happy mask on and no one knows that I'm breaking down inside! When I attend Lj's doctor appointments, the doctors and nurses always say you must be a nurse because your answers to our questions are so precise. I always say with pride, "No I am a Certified Medical Assistant". When I sit at home and I think of how many medical issues Lj is going through, or why is Social Security denying my his claim or I hope this is not the day I'm getting that eviction call, I still find a way to thank the Lord for giving me favor.  Even though my path is rocky and withered, I refuse to give up for the sake of my 2 boys.To Be Continued