Monday, September 02, 2013

Some Days

It's been 5 months since I've posted on my blog and I need to vent. Some days I feel so alone and overwhelmed . I feel like doctors don't understand my struggles with getting Lj to learn and retain info. Lj has been taken off the spectrum by a doctor who says because he makes brief eye contact with people, that he is not on the spectrum anymore. He attends OT, PT and Speech Therapy. He has been on a plateau for months. He is still not voicing his everyday needs. He is still very sensory sensitive? I've been trying to find resources to help me but have been unsuccessful. I've been working 12 hr shifts at night trying to be the provider. I come home by 7am get the kids off to school. I sleep for 4 hours and then up to do it again. Andre my oldest son, has been going through his rude introduction to being a preteen diagnosed with a SLD in reading. The school is fighting me about giving him an IEP and frustration is more than high. Between both boys frustration is so deep that I have nightmares and anxiety about my stressors. I get mad and push my feelings to the back and keep it moving but I often wonder how do I go about dealing with everything.. I often wish I could be rich for a day to pay for all the things my boys need. Not things for me but things like a home so the boys can never be evicted. A brand new car so I have reliable travel for them and educational services to educate the boys in their own specific way. I'm trying to get ahead but it's just a painful struggle for me and other so I guess I shouldn't complain about some days,