Wednesday, July 20, 2011


Have you ever just felt like life was punishing you for something. Lately I have been feeling that exact same way. I have to ask what have I done so wrong, that things has to be so hard. I felt like I was drowning in sorrow. I told myself to pray. I told myself that FAITH is the key to my success and the human side of me that worries so much has to depend on my FAITH in GOD! So I looked at my sons pictures that I have hagnging on my wall, and I gathered up some strength and said "I'm not giving up because I have to much to push for.

Ladies if you have moments when you feel like this rely on your FAITH, because you could be in someone else's shoes.I have One special needs child that goes to mumerous appointment each week. He has been hospitalized, he has suffered from testing and he gets so upset out of fear when we go to the doctors.I have to watch my son go through things that he doesn't deserve. Because I feel he doesn't deserve to go through so much pain and anxiety, I still have so much guilt inside. I often feel that it's my fault that he was born early.

My oldest son is going through his angry period of life because he feels like my time is so consumed with doctor appointments and tests, he is starting to feel he is not important. His father chooses not to be in his life so I have to watch him be in emotional pain. I have no income, Ive been turned down for 7 jobs now and bills are accumulating. My youngest son is being  examined for a abdominal hernia that may be affecting his intestines, with all of the obstacles I haven't given up. I push to fix my situation into the late hours of the night if I have to. My boys deserve effort and devotion and you and your children, if you have children deserve the same..

 Once again I rely on FAITH. So God bless and remember that FAITH is the key, so KEEP THE FAITH!!